Starting Again After a Long Term Relationship Ends

By Yvonne Allen

1. Try as best as possible to get to know any new people you meet for who they are, and importantly without bombarding them with stories about your past. It is OK to say that you have just come out of a long term relationship but do not use these meetings as a space to vent. If you find yourself doing this too much, chances are you may not be ready to start dating as yet.

2. Being you is the best person to be when starting over again. This does not mean that you cannot reinvent yourself but do not try to change the core of who you are because you believe that more people will love you. The right person will love you just the way you are and will not wish that you change to be with them.

3. Mingle and chat with your single friends about getting back in the dating game. Get as many perspectives as you can and only choose the dating tips that you are comfortable with. Getting back in the dating game can be extremely hard but have an open mind to what may have changed over the years that you have been out the dating circuit. Ask questions!! Your friends will want to help.

4. If you don't have single friends, search some out, a gym is a great place to start.

5. Don't be too quick to tie yourself down to one person. Getting back into the game is about having fun. You may have changed without even really knowing it since your last relationship and so your preferences may have changed. Go out with many different personality types and only get as comfortable as you are willing to go.

6. You have to be interested in dating as well as the person you are on a date with for this to go the right way. Sometimes while on a date you may realise early that this is not going anywhere. Don't become overwhelmed but recognise that this is also helping you to fine tune the type of person that you really want to spend time with. It is not always about looking for the rest of your life with.

7. Follow your instinct when deciding if you should prolong this association into a second date or end it if you are not feeling any compatibility. And remember sparks fade, so it is not always about magic and music. Every experience counts for something. Do not rush yourself into anything that you might not be ready for.

8. Most importantly, take your time. Dating again does not mean that you have to go out on a date every week. Pace yourself as the next relationship could be the one that lasts and you want to be sure that you get it right this time. This may take a few months and maybe even a few years but don't make any permanent decisions until you really are ready for what comes after.

Yvonne Allen has been providing professional introduction and matchmaking services, search and support services for the discerning single since 1976.

Her brand Mr. Single, is an upmarket professional dating service for educated males in Sydney & Melbourne. It's aim is towards discerning singles who would like to share their life in a great relationship.

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