When I Want Sex With a Woman I've Just Met

By Jakub Honzik Bednar

When I was in my 20's I learned a little bit about what to do if you really want to have sex with someone the night you meet them. There are so many different tactics. As sad as it is, sometimes you have to do "the takeaway". If you see an attractive member of the opposite sex at a bar or function, and they seem to be alone, you first make a complement: "I love your eyes", "your body looks incredibly fit", "you just are really drawing me into what's going on in your head right now", things like this. Then, you can make an innocent move like just touching their hand briefly. One thing that worked for me so many times is being a 6 foot tall man if a woman that was any shorter than me at all was talking to me in a loud bar, putting my hand in the small of her back while she talked to me and while listening to her maybe even give her a quick pat on the butt. Don't ask me how, but I never got slapped. It's because I wasn't trying to take something that wasn't mine, I had already established there was interest there.

As far as "the takeaway", it occurs when someone shows you interest and then takes it away themselves. For example, if who you are interested in acknowledges your touching, eye movement etc and then all of a sudden wants you to prove yourself in some social manner such as "oh what band do you play in" or "what kind of car do you drive", at that point the takeaway is established. You then have to be willing to risk losing this hookup in its entirety to hook up. You can assertively say, "Well I was interested in you, and trust me I still am, but you think you need to be talked into something. Hey, you have a great body but I just don't want to put up a fight tonight, you know where to find me, babe". Believe it or not, it works. I've even seen it work for some people that say "jeez you are being real mean and have an attitude, are you trying to tell me you need a spanking?" And therefore the takeaway was established because it really is all a game.

If tonight is the night and you have found someone at the bar or social function, of course the apartment needs to be clean, good music selection accessible, and a little extra booze on hand even if you are not a drinker. If you are out to "hook up" THAT VERY NIGHT, so many people who have the looks and confidence don't seal the deal because there's not even a drop of alcohol in the house. While it may be a sad commentary on society, you gotta have booze because if someone is already feeling loose, loosen em' up more and worry about the headache the next day. With tall this being said, sometimes you get someone who seems willing back home and they unload their personal baggage on you, are so hot but "just want to talk", or "have to work the next day", etc.

To be completely honest when that happens, if tonight is not the night, you have to walk up to them, kiss them, act like you care but maybe not tonight, and firmly show just a bit what you can do with your hands during the last embrace. If they're interested, they'll call back. And if not, you went out, had some fun, and its back to the drawing board. But hey, this is about sex. Its not about your soul mate. If there are mishaps, bad manners, bad odors, and the like, just ignore it and laugh. Because guess what. Male or female, if you live in a big enough city with enough disconnected souls who want to connect, game time starts the next day at happy hour. Play the numbers and just enjoy it. Because that's why you're reading this in the first place!

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