Q: Why am I so anxious about sex? Why do my nerves interfere with my ability to perform well in bed? Is there anything I can do to relax more, and simply enjoy the experience... without ruining it for both of us?
A: Believe it or not, we get a lot of questions about sexual anxiety and it's resultant (and negative) effect on sexual performance AND enjoyment as well.
The truth is, BOTH sexes suffer from various types of anxiety, and there are lots and lots of reasons for each. Men tend to worry about size issues, stamina issues, and a general lack of understanding of the female anatomy as well. (e.g. - an insecurity they are doing this or that right... and fear looking fumbling and foolish in the process)
Women tend to worry about body issues, and guilt issues, and even whether they will be able to be sexually satisfied at all. Of course all of the worrying just leads to tension and a freezing up of sorts, which leads to a LESS than enjoyable experience for her, and quite commonly... for her partner as well.
Some of easiest ways to overcome sexual anxiety are NOT physical at all.
As a matter of fact... there are few places that the old, MIND over matter dictum is more appropriate, as if you can control your emotional equilibrium during sex, your physical response SHOULD exponentially improve.
For example?
In men, stress or concern about how you are going to perform, WILL in fact, affect how you DO perform.
Certain chemicals brought on by stress like cortisol, cause the blood vessels to constrict, leading to less than optimum blood flow. And less than optimum blood flow is directly related to erectile dysfunction, or the inability to stay erect during sex.
Similarly, for women, cortisol released into the blood stream results in a dampening down of the sexual response cycle, meaning... she probably WON'T be interested in having sex at all.
(another reason why so many women attach the idea of needing to be comfortable with a man, to being able to orgasm)
In general, as a rule... stress is NOT an aphrodisiac! (but you probably know that already)
By contrast, being deeply relaxed, confident and comfortable IS in fact an aphrodisiac, as the more "serene" you feel, the more seratonin flows through your body as well, which is the hormone that makes us feel good, improves mood, and self confidence to boot!
The truth is, there are lots of ways to treat sexual anxiety. Learning to relax is key. Improving your body image, and your sense of self is critical as well. Learning that sex isn't a contest is important too - you aren't being judged on how you perform, so don't sweat it! (no pun intended)
Finally, and maybe most importantly of all:
Feeling good, and wanted and excited to be with your partner is probably the very BEST way to overcome sexual anxiety, and if that doesn't come right away, don't worry... it WILL improve over time!
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anthony_J._Rigliosi
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