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I'll be honest. When I first began online dating, I was not having much success. Base-lining and trending downward might be the right way to describe the situation. I felt frustrated and very concerned that loneliness was destined to be my regular companion in life. Deeming that prospect as unacceptable, I explored my options. I really thought hard about this, and concluded I would work my ass off to rectify the situation. I had already performed a "self-intervention" on my looks, style and appearance with a little success, and without extreme measures (as in joining the Hair Club for Men), there was only so much I could do. So I appraised my dating strategy (yes, it's okay to have a dating strategy), and began with that crucial component called the online dating profile.
I was in trouble, because my profile sucked. The thought entered my head that if I were a woman I wouldn't want to date the guy on that profile - because it was painfully dull! It read something like this:
Hi, my name is George. Thanks for visiting my profile. I like to run, hike and weight train, and enjoy reading and watching movies. I'm looking for someone who has similar interests. Good luck in your search.
Ugh! It was like I had a stamp on my forehead that said "Danger! If you date this man you could die of boredom!" But what could I do? Most guys write similar profiles. Maybe they were having some success - I wasn't. So I had to do something a little different and maybe a lot different.
One of my strengths is writing. Everybody has a super power, and creating with words might be mine. So, putting my greatest asset to use was my best hope to create a good profile. I worked hard, used my imagination and six or seven drafts later, I published the following on Plenty of Fish:
I am looking for a woman with a boatload of needs. It seems like every woman on this site has it all together. Aren't there any decent psychos out there anymore? Where have you all gone?
As for me, I do, in fact, have it all together - at least that's what my court-appointed therapist tells me. And my debt consolidation counselor says I'll be able to start maxing out credit cards again in just a few years. Til then, I'll just keep collecting my trusty unemployment checks, hanging out in my trailer and living the high life. Oh, that thing with the police? It's all good; they don't have nearly enough evidence to get a conviction.
An ideal date would be slamming down a few brewskis at the corner pub, where I will generously offer to split the tab, and then go for a romantic walk through the grey, somber industrial section of town. It's especially best on bitter cold, windy February nights: the fumes from the superfund toxic waste dump are a little more bearable, and you're much less likely to get hustled by the crack heads.
What I basically did was take my profile essay and turn it into a story - a fictional story based on my understanding of what women want and are looking for, and then making fun of it. Some friends were extremely doubtful my approach would work and that it might even backfire. Feeling I had nothing to lose, I typed in the words, breathed deeply and clicked submit.
One woman told me she laughed so loud a neighbor called to see if she was okay. Another woman said she nearly peed her pants, and several said it was the best profile they ever read. Truth is it did not have much competition. Sure, some did not get the humor. One woman replied, "I see you live in a trailur (sic)" That's okay; I didn't want to date someone who didn't get my sense of humor anyway.
Notice the story did not provide much concrete information about me: no job history, and no "I like to walk on the beach" crap. I preferred to maintain some mystery about ordinary minutia. However, reading between the lines would hopefully reveal the far more important aspects of my nature, of the things that make me tick. I would rather my profile visitors see a sense of humor, a confident demeanor and (perhaps) a measure of intelligence displayed than have me tell them I possess these traits without proof. The kind of characteristics, I might add, that many women find highly desirable.
I am not advocating that anyone cut and paste my essay. It is best to do your own. My story worked for me partly because it was my own original creation, and I was willing to put in the time. Give it a try. Search through women's profiles for common themes and put a comedic twist on your conclusions. For instance, many women adamantly claim they will not settle but only want a special connection. One woman wrote she sought a "rare bird." She loved my reply:
I've been told I am a rare bird, and I believe it is a compliment, as long as it is not a male Emperor Penguin. Those poor devils have to watch the kids in horrific weather while the female goes shopping, with all her girlfriends, hundreds of miles away. She claims she's only going for groceries, but you know she's coming back with new shoes. I could be wrong, but I suspect Vegas might be involved here. I mean, they all come back with tans, and we haven't had sunlight in Antarctica for months. What's worse, they do this every freaking year! When they do get back, and the guy just wants a hot sandwich and maybe a cold beer, she gets ticked off because she wants to talk about all the great sales at Marshals. So, in brief, I'd really rather be a falcon.
Ever since I began writing dating advice essays, I've stressed that if happiness with dating is important to a man, he will have to work hard to make it so. The profile is a crucial component; it is a guy's "first-first impression" so it had better be a good one. Good luck with creating that profile, and please, keep reading my friends.
George is the creator and primary contributor of Masterdate: The Handy Guide to Internet dating for Guys. Because when it comes to women, every guy can use a little advice now and then. http://www.masterdateadvice.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=George_Reagan
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