The Decision to Keep Failing in Your Relationships or Make the Necessary Changes Is Yours!
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It might be difficult for you to admit you need to look inwards and understand, once and for all, what makes you fail in your relationships time and again. Looking inwards is scary to many. So you keep dating others and try to develop intimacy with them - but you find yourself unsuccessful. You then resort to one thousand and one justifications and rationalizations to explain your failures: it either that your partners were not at your level; or you were busy at the time; or you are a selective person; or your partners have had too many problems and unfinished businesses - the sky's the limit for justifications and rationalizations.
... and you go on trying, and you go on failing, and you go on using explanations and justifications, and you change nothing in your attitudes, perception and behavior.
Why don't you change?
Because it might be difficult for you to admit that something in YOU prevents you from developing a healthy and a satisfying relationship. That something in YOU drives you to sabotage your relationships. That something in YOU is responsible for your failures.
Why is it difficult for you to admit that something in YOU harms your relationships?
* Because it isn't easy to admit our limitations and weaknesses.
* Because we feel better about ourselves when we view ourselves positively.
* Because we think we know ourselves well enough to be able to cope with life situations and relationships.
This is a "normal" state-of-affairs. But it carries with it its own problems, of which two major ones are:
1. That you deny and reject any possibility that something in YOU needs to change in order for you to be able to (finally) develop a successful relationship.
2. That you don't have the courage to acknowledge that you might need to figure out what's going on with you, what makes you fail in your relationships time and again.
3. That maybe, just maybe, you might need some help in looking inwards and figuring it out, be it through books, workshops, or short-time counselling.
The courage to look inwards
The courage to look inwards, acknowledge and admit your limitations and weaknesses in order to stop sabotaging your relationships and become able to develop a healthy intimacy is of key importance if you sincerely strive to become able to have a good relationship.
Why does it take courage to look inwards?
Because it means that you:
* Realize "who you really are";
* Take off your masks and see "the real you";
* Acknowledge and admit your responsibility for your failures.
... and that you decide to do whatever it takes to make the necessary changes and become able to finding, developing and maintaining a successful intimate relationship.
The power to doing so is in your hands. The decision that you might be debating, between you and yourself, is a simple one: should you continue failing in your relationships and suffer the painful consequences, or should you get up the courage to look inwards and eventually have the relationship you so much desire.
The decision is yours. And so are your future relationships.
Doron Gil, Ph.D., is a Self-Awareness and Relationships Expert, with 30 year experience as a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant. Dr. Gil has taught classes to thousands of students, has written numerous articles on the subject and is the author of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship". http://amzn.to/eAmMmH
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Doron_Gil,_Ph.D.
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