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Dating, like all of our other lives endeavours is fraught with pitfalls. Dating is also a major gateway to the most important and critical life decisions which each individual must make to attain self actualization. Like all other undertakings, our parents and family members are interested in what becomes of us. Out of love, more than any inordinate desire to control our lives, our parents are usually worried about the decision we make about who to marry. This is more so because they know about the implication of who we decide to marry to our ultimate happiness in life.
Their own lives and experiences are not always perfect even if it seemed so. Each parent - mother and father - want to be sure that whatever they see as mistakes in their decisions are not repeated by their children.
Over and above the personal issues which concern our parents and for which we could actually ask them to mind their own businesses, there is a cultural and social critical mix which make marriage a family and, in fact, a communal affair. Among some African societies, it is clearly stated that a husband or wife is not just married to the individual but to the family.
Beyond even the above, during dating parents and guardians, family members such as siblings, uncles and aunties can be great help in achieving the major purpose of dating which is to find a courtship or marriage partner.
It is true that who one partners with for marriage should be a personal decision. But we all also know that we can do with lots of help in making that critical life decision.
Here are other great reasons why we should involve our parents, guardians and siblings in our dating project:
· Security - Some of the people we meet in the process of dating are not as good as they appear to be. Some are clearly devious and wolves in sheep's skin. When we involve parents, guardians and siblings in our dating and courtship, they become that necessary extra eye required to enable us see beyond the veiled personality which early feelings of emotional connection may becloud and make impossible for us to see. This could be the salvation between us and heartbreak, rape and even death.
· A great strategy to gain support and approval of parents and guardians for the marriage if it comes to that- There are countless cases of people especially ladies who have brought a spouse-to-be home to announce to their parents that they have found who to marry only to be informed that they could not marry such a person because of tribal, social status and other mundane issues. They would have known if there are issues to prevent the marriage in advance and advised against iti f they were part of the dating process. This way, you would not have invested yourself in building a relationship only to have your parents or uncles and aunties become a stumbling block. This has the added advantage of foreclosing parental rejection of a suitor or bride-to-be.
· Building friendship -If parents and guardians are part of the dating process, they would probably have already become friends with the man or woman you bring home. The usual friction of wondering who the heck their son or daughter is bringing home or is ending up with would not be there. Marriage expands one's horizon of relationships. The man or woman you marry would necessarily have a relationship with your family and immediate friends. This singular act of bringing your partner home ensures that that aspect of your relationships is also started at an early stage with the opportunity to grow along as your relationship with this partner grows.
· Parental and sibling support in time of breakup -When parents, guardians and siblings are part of dating, they are able to support you when things go wrong with the relationship. Because they had either supported or goaded the relationship on, if it breaks down or issues develop, they are more supportive than otherwise.
Francis Nmeribe helps people who desire a joyful relationship in their dating, courtship and marriage relationships. He is the author of numerous great relationship and personal development articles and books including - "Foundation For Joyful Relationships", "Wrong Reasons For Getting Married", "Growing From Your Experiences", "Action Quotes". If you need help with your dating, courtship and marriage relationships, contact Francis Nmeribe at http://www.successpublishers.com.ng. Subscribe to the RSS Feeds and get a free copy of the Ebook version of "Wrong Reasons For Getting Married". Read more free relationship articles on my blog http://marryright.wordpress.com. Email:Francis19561@hotmail.com
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